


Would You Like Fries with That?

by Renai_chan



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3848503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renai_chan/pseuds/Renai_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve works at McDonald's, but not really, and everyone in the tower is on drugs, but not really.</p>
<p>Silly little ficlet written in the space of an hour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Would You Like Fries with That?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this Tumblr post](http://i.imgur.com/ZusWflk.jpg).

Tony balked as soon as he stepped into the kitchen and found Steve preparing lunch. 

Steve looked up and, on seeing Tony, a wide smile settled over his lips. And that--Steve looking actually _happy_ to see Tony--that was never going to get old, and a warm, fluttery feeling erupted in the pit of his stomach. Tony would have been _so_ over that.

But first, there was a conundrum to resolve. 

“No, seriously, who _dressed_ you?” Because a striped red and yellow shirt and khaki pants, even though they fit him excellently, were _horrendous_.

“What?” Steve looked down at himself self-consciously. “I thought they looked fine. I was just going to go down to the grocery today anyway.”

“No!” Tony snapped firmly, his voice still filled with despair. “No, you are not leaving the house looking like _that_! You look like a goddamn McDonald’s crew member! That shirt is an abomination. I am finding out who made that and having them committed. Take it off, Steve, take it off _now_ before you catch the bad taste.” Tony had crossed the room in half a second and was tugging the shirt out of Steve’s pants while the soldier only laughed.

He took Tony’s wrists into his and pressed him back against the counter, pinning him there with his hips while his hands curled around Tony’s waist. Then his mouth was on Tony’s before another word could be uttered because that was really the only way to shut him up. His tongue licked into his lover’s mouth, sensually, teasingly, as though the switch to Tony’s brain could be found in there.

True enough, when he pulled back, Tony was fairly dazed and silenced. With a grin, Steve nuzzled the skin beneath Tony’s ear and whispered in the breathy, low voice that he reserved for the bedroom, “Would you like fries with that?”

Tony bit his lip as he breathed out in a voice he probably didn’t realize he was using, “Oh yeah, baby.” Steve nearly laughed, but reigned in his amusement to tease Tony further. He slipped one hand down Tony’s waist and ass and brought it round to his front and up his inner thigh, caressing him all the way.

“And would you like to supersize that, Mr. Stark?” he asked, still in his bedroom voice. Tony’s head lolled back as though he was ready for Steve to take him there. And Steve would have been very, very willing, if he were to be perfectly honest.

Except that Natasha poked her head into the kitchen and declared loudly, “We’re out of toilet paper.”

Tony’s head snapped up with blinding speed, cracking his skull against Steve’s and coming out worse for the wear. “Ow!” he cursed, slapping his hands over the pained spot, then quickly after, “What?” Steve pried his hands away to check his forehead for bruising.

The kitchen’s emergency-exit window opened and air rushed into the room. Thor’s head poked in a second later. “Natasha says she has run out of paper for the lavatory,” he piped in. They were on the eighty fifth floor.

“Really? _Really_?!” Tony cried out. Steve had to grab his wrists to rein in his flailing arms and keep from getting smacked in the face. “What the fuck is wrong with you people? Can we get some privacy here?”

One of the ceiling vents flipped open and Clint’s head popped through. “Nope!” he answered cheerfully, popping the ‘p’. Tony stared at him for a second and then turned to give Steve a flat look.

“I swear, everyone in this tower is high,” he intoned. Steve grinned and pulled Tony’s wrists around his neck. His hands then found Tony’s ass and lifted him up with ease.

“I have your order ready for you, Mr. Stark,” he whispered and earned a raised eyebrow. His grin was innocent and naughty in equal parts, and a range of emotions played over Tony’s face. 

In the end though, Tony only rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he said with an exasperated sigh and a grin tugging at his lips. Then he waved imperiously at the kitchen door and ordered, “Bedroom.”


End file.
